Call me old fashioned but I was raised to serve my wife. Clean up after her. Take care of her every day and cook for her every night. I do whatever she says because she is my wife and she makes the rules around the house. She owns me. If my wife cheats on me it means I’ve fucked up and I need to address myself.
ANYWAYS, here's a very unprofessional little rambling about Alchemist Cookie. Warning: Contains massive amounts of cringe (but you already knew that), a lot of overly wordly sentences (I'm terrible at writing efficently) and so much of my own personal interpertations. THIS IS STILL A HIGH WORK IN PROGRESS and will also very likely always going to be as long as I like Alchemist Cookie. I have thoughts constantly.
Out of all my favorite Cookie Run characters, Alchemist Cookie has always captured my attention in a way that is incomparable to the rest. I think it’s because compared to a lot of the other characters in the series, Alchemist Cookie is one of the few who is explicitly flawed in a way that isn't portrayed as flattering or adoring (at least, to most of the players), but depth of her personality is something very, very frequently overlooked because she is untraditionally abrasive and complex for a female character in Cookie Run.
However, that’s not to say she is completely heartless! Even though she's usually tagging along with others mainly for her own gain, she doesn't treat them like tools or garbage like most are led to assume. In fact, the people she follows are people she genuinely, or eventually, considers to be her friends, and as such, she treats them kindly and protects them when they're in danger. Along with that, her first appearance in the main story of Cookie Run Ovenbreak is actually when she’s helping Cream Puff Cookie practice her magic. Now, why would someone who despises magic and being disturbed go out of her way to do that? Because she's caring, and she doesn't just mindlessly insult people left and right. She knows Cream Puff Cookie is a gentle and sensitive child, and Alchemist Cookie is willing to put aside her beliefs because she genuinely wants to see her succeed.
It is also out of her caringness why she’s so critical towards people close to her, namely her brother, Vampire Cookie. Due to the alcohol in his dough, Vampire Cookie is notoriously lazy and self-indulgent, and he would much rather spend his time sleeping or getting drunk than actually putting in effort towards anything productive in his life. In Alchemist Cookie’s eyes, she is watching her brother waste away his life succumbing to hedonism when he could be so much more, and like any other family member, she wants to help him. So, she tries to set him straight with her words, and when that’s not enough, she even goes as far as to blame the ingredients in his dough and attempts to transmutate him into a “non-alcoholic” Cookie like herself. Now, is it right? No, of course not, but it is precisely why she’s so complex. She loves him, but she is so headstrong that she can't help but see any sort of carefreeness as foolishness, so she tries to make him like herself. The ironic part is that when Vampire Cookie actually does start acting like her and following her footsteps in alchemy and dilligence, she actually starts to feel threatened of her status, as seen in the cookie bond "Sibling Rivalry". In fact, she was so upset that she actually went out of her way to create a potion to turn him back to his drunkard self!
Inconsistent characterization? No, in fact, I'd say it's the opposite. As stated before, she's deeply prideful to a fault. She may constantly nag her brother over his laziness, but deep down, she actually feels a sense of satisfaction over being the smarter, more competent one. Having to share that position with her brother irks her more than anything. To me, this is shockingly realistic to people in real life. Perhaps it's just me, but I feel like we have all been in a position where we've been with someone, perhaps a friend or a family member, who is completely incompetent in a certain area, and felt pride at being better than them in that sense, even if we don't mean it maliciously, and when they start becoming more skilled in that area, we feel happy for them, but also a bit disappointed that we no longer are "the best one". For me, it was art. When I was younger, I used to be the absolute best artist in school. I was constantly praised for my ability and even favored by my art teachers. I was friends with a lot of like-minded artists, and although I truly cared about them, I always felt a little jealous when I found that some of them were actually starting to become better than me. It's a lingering bitterness that we know is wrong and make sure to push away, but Alchemist Cookie is flawed in a way that she actually holds onto that bitterness inside and acts out because of it. It's something you don't see often in a lot of Cookie Run character, and it only makes me appreciate her even more.
In Cookie Run Kakao, we have an upclose view and description of the brooch that holds her cloak together in the form of a treasure. Called "Alchemist Cookie's Beaded Brooch", it very clearly resembles a molecular bond, specifically, a water molecule.
Although the design is, uh, very sexualized, there are clear resembles between Alchemist Cookie's design and this ending! Princess Maker 3 did come out in 1997 while Cookie Run Kakao, the game that Alchemist Cookie debuted in, was released in 2014. There is a large time gap, so it's certainly possible that some elements were pulled from this ending.
From the Princess Maker wiki, this is the script to the alchemist ending.
Now, I know nothing about this game other than it's fucking weird and gross, but this dialogue, by itself, does seem to encapsulate a lot of Alchemist Cookie's beliefs. Being so enraptured with alchemy and science that it drives her entire life. Watching the alchemist ending on Youtube, there are some notable quotes I picked from it.
Does that sound familiar to you? Because it sure does for me! Alchemist Cookie's well known disdain for magic does seem to trace its roots back to here. If you told me that these were Alchemist Cookie quotes instead, I would've believed you.
Um... Okay, ignore that part. Wait, no, don't ignore it entirely, because (and I realize I am reaching) that this might be the precursor to Alchemist Cookie's pridefulness!
One reason I like her is because of how unapologetically blunt and "herself" she is. As a person, I am very sensitive, shy and insecure, and I'm rather embarrassed about it, because I'm conforming to the stereotypical image of an emotional woman. When I'm met with a change in tone or, god forbid, criticism, I literally burst into tears, give up, and wonder why I’m such a loser. But Alchemist Cookie? No, she doesn't do that, in fact, she would criticize me for being so embarrassingly weak-willed (Or maybe that’s just my self-deprecation talking, lol). I feel like if she was ever aware of her “haters”, she would only be more determined to work harder, to really show off how intelligent and incredible she is. And if they’re still not impressed? Well, to hell with those idiots, they could never understand alchemy anyway. She knows her worth and would never bow down to anyone. Throw whatever you want at her, she'll overcome it, no matter how much it frustrates her.
To most, all of these traits and flaws of hers are seen as annoying, and crudely enough, “bitchy”. I can understand why some might be put off by her at first, because she is very “in your face”, but I do genuinely believe that a lot of the hatred for her personality is simply because she is female.Compare her to popular male characters such as Espresso Cookie and Prune Juice Cookie. They’re both really quite similar to Alchemist Cookie– they’re scientist-like, no nonsense characters passionate and prideful in their craft to the point where they’re seen as snobby or rude to others who they perceive as “not meeting their standards”. However, the only difference is that they’re both attractive male characters, and as a result, they’re incredibly loved in the fandom. People love to praise the depth and complexity of male characters, but the second the same complexity is shown in a female character, all of the sudden, she’s “an annoying bitch”! Listen, it's okay to dislike her. I’ll admit, I do like when the characters I like are unpopular, because it makes me feel special for liking them, but if the reason why the character is unpopular is because of misogyny, then I feel like I need to knock some sense into people.
Anyways, Alchemist Cookie haters when you ask them why they hate her:
This has been said a million times, but common costumes in Cookie Run: Ovenbreak (And all costumes in general, really) are so, so much better than the common costumes in Cookie Run: Kingdom—instead of just a simple, boring recolor, they change a lot about the base design, but not enough to make the original Cookie completely unrecognizable or the costume detailed enough for a rarity change. You'll see what I mean when I show her Cookie Run: Kingdom costume.
Alchemist Cookie's Class President costume was released with other school-themed costumes in an alternate universe "back to school" set during the The Twisted Maze Grove update (April 16, 2018). I can definitely imagine that this is what Alchemist Cookie would look like if she was in high school! I like the change in her hair, it's small but noticable. Typically, Alchemist's hair is neatly split in a middle part with no stray hairs, but in this costume, it's instead swooped to the side, complete with a large cowlick and a small hairclip, adding major cute points lol. The story in this costume is also very nice, in this school universe, she's the class president, and she seems to be the stereotypical strict and studious one. The other students almost loathe and fear her because of how she practically acts like a second teacher. In the Korean version, the description of her costume doesn't make her out to be as strict and even makes her election as the class president as an exciting and good thing, but honestly, this is one of the few times where I prefer the localized version. I think it's more interesting that way, let girls be a little mean.
I would get crucified by most Cookie Run fans for saying this, but I actually... like this costume a lot. Yes, it came out during the infamous Yogurca updates, updates that nearly no one in the community like due to the stereotypical portayal of Middle Eastern/SWANA culture, but I don't know, I just like the unique colors that harmoniously work together, and just how her outfit is shaped in general. In my opinion, it looks quite masculine, and I am a huge sucker for women in masculine clothes. The story is also one that I actually like, not just in this costume, but also in the one she was futured in when this costume was released. Also, it's Alchemist Cookie, and I'm sorry, but if you put her there, 9 times out of 10, I'm going to like it.
Alchemist Cookie's Awakened Truth costume was released in second half of the Sands of Yogurca update (August 13, 2019). This costume was released to celebrate the addition of her magic candy, which was released in this update as well. The story she was futured in for this update has her asking for a tome dealing with ancient alchemy from Yogurt Cream Cookie, and it is likely the same tome she holds in this costume. However, in the story, Yogurt Cream Cookie didn't actually end up giving her the tome, so we don't know how she obtained it in the first place! Perhaps it's just another alternate universe costume, or just a timeskip.
For some reason, when I saw this costume, I immediately thought of The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho (A book I haven't read, admittedly, I just heard of it somewhere...) for some reason and was convinced that it had to be referencing it somehow, but upon closer research, I found that there's not really much of a relationship between the book and this outfit. According to Wikipedia, "the story follows the shepherd boy Santiago in his journey across North Africa to the Egyptian pyramids after he dreams of finding a treasure there." So, yeah, it may take place in Africa and Egypt, which is part of the region Yogurca is based off of, but the story of the book is not so similar, at least not without me delving into headcanon and "grasping at straws" territory (Because believe me, I could go that far). This is totally off topic, but the cover of the book is the painting Narcissus by Caravaggio, and ooooh for some reason, it's just total Alchemist Cookie vibes... Anyways, uh, it's a great costume.
In general, we can say that the witches are akin to godly beings, even worshipped as actual Gods in the St. Pastry Order. In the Cookie Run VR game, The Darkest Night, she quite buddy buddy with the witches, even going as far as to say that she doesn't want to escape the castle, because she still has research to do there, likely because she doesn't feel threatened at all by the witches (even though they, um, eat cookies). She speaks with the witches and they even let her sift through the knowledge in their libraries, save for that one book in the mainline story. She states that she was created to control Franken Cookie, a monster that was completely out of the witches' control. And the most insane part is that she did it. She managed to control something that godlike beings couldn't even do. "Whenever the witches fail, Alchemist Cookie succeeds."
They're obviously extremely toxic and bad for each other, but in a hot kinda way. Twizzly Gummy and Alchemist Cookie are both so incredibly headstrong and set in their own ways, and they clash so dangerously hard. They hate each other to the point where it's passionate, and passion can make you do some very, very crazy things. It's not enemies to lovers, it's more of enemies to enemies with benefits. It's not that hard to imagine how they met—Alchemist Cookie needs some incredibly rare ingredients from another timeline, and who can jump timelines? Well, Twizzly Gummy Cookie can. She would hate her for a multitude of reasons (She's too loud, too aggressive, too immoral, too much of a reckless, selfish loose canon), but she knows she's the only one who can help her, so she has to go to her. Well, that's Alchemist Cookie's excuse, that Twizzly Gummy Cookie is the only one. Twizzly Gummy Cookie would say that the only reason she's helping her is because Alchemist Cookie pays handsomely because Alchemist Cookie is too snobby, too snarky, too frustrating. But deep down, they are both unable to deny that there's this part of their hearts enjoys the fiery, passionate hatred between their arguments and fights. It makes them both feel something that no one is able to do.
Alchemist Cookie/Kumiho Cookie, Alchemist Cookie/Cheesecake Cookie & Alchemist Cookie/Bellflower Cookie. When I made this section, I thought there would be more, but nope. Just know that if the ship is yuri, there is a 99% chance I like it, even if I don't have many thoughts about them.